She’s Successful at Work. So Why Does She Feel Like She’s Failing Herself?
She can lead a meeting, hit deadlines and organise everyone else’s week. But when was the last time she made space for her own health?
I want to talk about the woman who gets things done for everybody else and then feels disappointed because her own fitness keeps slipping down the list.
Maybe she has a demanding job. Maybe she’s caring for children or parents. Maybe she’s navigating perimenopause while trying to keep up at work. Or maybe she’s simply exhausted by the time she gets home.
If this sounds familiar, I don’t think you need another lecture about willpower. You need a way to make exercise fit your actual life.
Why does looking after yourself feel so hard?
Sometimes the obstacle isn’t motivation. It’s the number of things you’re already carrying.
Research gives us a reason to take this seriously. In a 2023 CIPD survey of more than 2,000 employed UK women aged 40 to 60, 67% of those who had experienced menopause symptoms said the symptoms had a mostly negative effect on them at work. That doesn’t describe every woman, but it challenges the idea that all women can simply push through without support.
Sport England’s This Girl Can research also shows how fear of judgement can stop women getting active. Concerns include not being fit enough, what other people think, and how bodies look in exercise spaces.
So no, the answer isn’t to make women feel guilty for not doing more. It’s to make the starting point smaller, safer and easier to repeat.
“How do I get fit when I work full-time?”
Start with two appointments in your diary, rather than promising yourself a complete lifestyle overhaul.
For many beginners, two manageable strength sessions a week is a reasonable place to begin. The NHS advises adults to do muscle-strengthening activities that work the major muscle groups on at least two days each week, alongside regular aerobic activity.
You could try a short full-body session before work, during lunch or on a day when you have more help at home. The exact slot matters less than choosing one you can realistically keep.
A simple starting workout for a busy week
Warm up gently for five minutes, then practise these movements at a manageable effort:
- Sit-to-stand from a chair: 2 sets of 8–10.
- Dumbbell or resistance-band row: 2 sets of 8–10.
- Supported split squat or low step-up: 2 sets of 8 each side.
- Wall or incline push-up: 2 sets of 8–10.
- Farmer’s carry with manageable weights: 2 short walks.
Rest as needed. Use a range of motion that feels comfortable, and focus on control rather than speed. You can begin with bodyweight or very light resistance. Build up gradually over the following weeks.
If you haven’t exercised for a long time, or you have a medical condition or injury, follow the NHS advice to speak to your GP or an appropriate healthcare professional before starting.
I’m tired after work. Should I force myself to train?
Not every tired day needs the same answer. If you’re simply busy and a short session feels manageable, reducing the plan to 15 or 20 minutes may help you keep your routine. If you’re unwell, unusually exhausted or experiencing concerning symptoms, rest and seek appropriate medical advice instead.
You are not failing because you adapt your plan. A routine that can flex around real life is usually more useful than one you abandon the first time work runs late.
What about food when your day is packed?
Nutrition doesn’t have to mean spending Sunday preparing 21 identical meals.
I would start by making two or three weekday meals easier. Think Greek yoghurt with berries and oats for breakfast; eggs or a tuna-and-bean salad for lunch; chicken, lentils or fish with vegetables and a carbohydrate you enjoy for dinner.
Keep easy protein options and fruit available. Drink water during the day. If evenings are chaotic, prepare one useful ingredient rather than trying to be perfectly organised.
The goal is to remove decisions when you’re already tired, not add another thing to feel guilty about.
What if your body is changing in perimenopause?
For some women, sleep disturbance, changes in mood, joint discomfort and other menopausal symptoms make work and exercise feel harder. If symptoms are affecting your life, speak with your GP about treatment and support. Exercise can be part of looking after yourself, but it’s not a replacement for menopause care.
Strength training is worth considering for muscle and bone health as we age. You don’t have to become a completely different person overnight. You can learn one exercise, build confidence and progress at your own pace.
You deserve more than the time that’s left over
I don’t want women to think exercise only counts if it happens five mornings a week, with a perfect meal plan and endless energy.
I want the busy woman who has spent years prioritising everyone else to discover that she can begin with one appointment, one manageable workout and one decision that supports her own health.
Not because she’s failed herself. Because she matters too.
At FemalePT we offer women-only training in West London and online coaching for women who need structure, accountability and a plan that fits around their lives. Our online coaching is £150 per month and includes structured training, nutrition guidance and weekly check-ins.
If you’ve been waiting for life to calm down before you start, you don’t have to work it all out by yourself. Explore FemalePT Online Coaching or get in touch about women-only training.
Souad x
FemalePT | We Train for Life
